Tuesday, November 11, 2008

You Ain't All That!

Scriptural Inspiration: Deuteronomy 8:11-14

11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12 Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13 and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

When I read these verses, I got chills. Many people are completely oblivious to this but the biggest sin I struggle with is pride. I gave up everything else without a blink of an eye (drinking, sex, cursing, etc.) but this "pride" thing is always getting me into trouble. I'm at a point where instead of just accepting the way things are I'm trying to do some self-examination to get to the root of the sin.

One obvious cause for this pride could be linked to my childhood. I was the youngest of four daughters and spoiled rotten. (Un)fortunately, I lived a very sheltered life and was provided for immensely. Imagine the culture shock once I graduated high school and entered the real world. Since 2003, I have to give honor and praises to God for getting me through because I did NOT have a clue.

Even in my spirit of praise though, I constantly fall back to the notion that Tam deserves some credit. Crazy, right? Riiight. When I feel like I'm about to start feeling myself, I usually have to think back when times were not as good and God had to save my ignorant behind. I don't like admitting this but sometimes I feel like the only time I was truly available to God and willing to serve 100% was when I was in a crippling storm. Almost to say that I must have my face in the dirt to have the urge to look up and praise God to the fullest. That's scary because it is not a pleasant experience to be wooped by God and although I expect "walls" (thanks Min. Michelle) to be put up before me I don't want God to think He has to make the road a little harder to keep my heart close to Him.

Honestly, isn't pride the reason why we sin in the first place? At the point where we decide to do what we want vs. what God has asked us there is a battle between being loyal to Him and fulfilling our fleshly desires. When we sin we are saying, "Jesus, I got this" - pure arrogance. Pride might not be your sin, but we all got 'em so I urge you to do some self-reflection, maybe start a diary or something to get the issues out and on the table.

I think it was Pas that said there is an antonym of every sin that can be found in the bible so there is source you have readily available. With that said, there is still hope and I am open for suggestions or testimonies. The good thing is that I am aware of it so now Jesus and I can work to remove it. So I ask that you join in prayer with me that Tam gains more humility and less arrogance, in the literal and spiritual sense.

Love ya & thanks for following the blogs. I almost forgot I had started one - my bad! :-)