Scriptural Inspiration: Deuteronomy 8:11-14
11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12 Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13 and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
When I read these verses, I got chills. Many people are completely oblivious to this but the biggest sin I struggle with is pride. I gave up everything else without a blink of an eye (drinking, sex, cursing, etc.) but this "pride" thing is always getting me into trouble. I'm at a point where instead of just accepting the way things are I'm trying to do some self-examination to get to the root of the sin.
One obvious cause for this pride could be linked to my childhood. I was the youngest of four daughters and spoiled rotten. (Un)fortunately, I lived a very sheltered life and was provided for immensely. Imagine the culture shock once I graduated high school and entered the real world. Since 2003, I have to give honor and praises to God for getting me through because I did NOT have a clue.
Even in my spirit of praise though, I constantly fall back to the notion that Tam deserves some credit. Crazy, right? Riiight. When I feel like I'm about to start feeling myself, I usually have to think back when times were not as good and God had to save my ignorant behind. I don't like admitting this but sometimes I feel like the only time I was truly available to God and willing to serve 100% was when I was in a crippling storm. Almost to say that I must have my face in the dirt to have the urge to look up and praise God to the fullest. That's scary because it is not a pleasant experience to be wooped by God and although I expect "walls" (thanks Min. Michelle) to be put up before me I don't want God to think He has to make the road a little harder to keep my heart close to Him.
Honestly, isn't pride the reason why we sin in the first place? At the point where we decide to do what we want vs. what God has asked us there is a battle between being loyal to Him and fulfilling our fleshly desires. When we sin we are saying, "Jesus, I got this" - pure arrogance. Pride might not be your sin, but we all got 'em so I urge you to do some self-reflection, maybe start a diary or something to get the issues out and on the table.
I think it was Pas that said there is an antonym of every sin that can be found in the bible so there is source you have readily available. With that said, there is still hope and I am open for suggestions or testimonies. The good thing is that I am aware of it so now Jesus and I can work to remove it. So I ask that you join in prayer with me that Tam gains more humility and less arrogance, in the literal and spiritual sense.
Love ya & thanks for following the blogs. I almost forgot I had started one - my bad! :-)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Curse
It still amazes me how easy it is to be a fool
Either for love, lust or for the sake of breaking a rule
I look back into a phase of my life not too long ago
Caught up in being every man’s dream, you know
Wearing just the right length of dress to catch an eye
Seductive scents of perfume, willing to tell any lie
See I could get what I wanted from a tweak of my tone
Soft whisper, sweet smile, maybe let out a moan
‘Cause to him, he was king and I, a servant
As long as I played my helpless role, he’d be there to work it
Ignorant to the fact that we were both playing each other
Saying “I Love You” but sleeping with another
That’s why I laugh when I hear you trying to spit game
You might have read my badge, but honey you do not know my name
Yea, you might have the bomb but what else you got
I’m in need of something more than an hour or two on the clock
I’ve accepted the reality that I once lived under a curse
But after reading Proverbs 31, letting it continue would be even worse
Either for love, lust or for the sake of breaking a rule
I look back into a phase of my life not too long ago
Caught up in being every man’s dream, you know
Wearing just the right length of dress to catch an eye
Seductive scents of perfume, willing to tell any lie
See I could get what I wanted from a tweak of my tone
Soft whisper, sweet smile, maybe let out a moan
‘Cause to him, he was king and I, a servant
As long as I played my helpless role, he’d be there to work it
Ignorant to the fact that we were both playing each other
Saying “I Love You” but sleeping with another
That’s why I laugh when I hear you trying to spit game
You might have read my badge, but honey you do not know my name
Yea, you might have the bomb but what else you got
I’m in need of something more than an hour or two on the clock
I’ve accepted the reality that I once lived under a curse
But after reading Proverbs 31, letting it continue would be even worse
Monday, October 27, 2008
“Lost In The Last Days": A Reflection of Min. Michelle’s Sermon
Looking around in a room full of pain,
I wonder who will have shelter when it starts to rain
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
Mesmerized by the scent of an unclean song
What would it take to change the heart of a snake
Remove its sharp teeth, its will would break
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
Still can’t seem to accept the power behind the stone
Blinded by the light shone on their own pride
Sheer ignorance to ignore the spirit living inside
Please don’t be fooled by the lies that are told
Time waits for no one, each day we get old
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
As the hourglass settles, might be left to roam
One cannot say “I didn’t know” for there were many chances
Much time for second, third and fourth glances
Do you not hear the sounds, has your sense been impaired
Or are you happy with your life not spared
Are your eyes not wide enough to see
That He owes you nothing, not even me
At a moment’s notice this could all come to an end
It’s been done before, why not again?
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
Honesty is a must, will you be left alone?
*Tam condemns no one - I don't have that power*
I wonder who will have shelter when it starts to rain
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
Mesmerized by the scent of an unclean song
What would it take to change the heart of a snake
Remove its sharp teeth, its will would break
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
Still can’t seem to accept the power behind the stone
Blinded by the light shone on their own pride
Sheer ignorance to ignore the spirit living inside
Please don’t be fooled by the lies that are told
Time waits for no one, each day we get old
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
As the hourglass settles, might be left to roam
One cannot say “I didn’t know” for there were many chances
Much time for second, third and fourth glances
Do you not hear the sounds, has your sense been impaired
Or are you happy with your life not spared
Are your eyes not wide enough to see
That He owes you nothing, not even me
At a moment’s notice this could all come to an end
It’s been done before, why not again?
Lost in a world that turns the gun on its own
Honesty is a must, will you be left alone?
*Tam condemns no one - I don't have that power*
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Save Me From Myself
Can anybody help me, am I the only one
Who’s so self-righteous to think I’m brighter than the sun
Have I come that far in the faith walk with Christ
That I feel like I no longer need His light
Yea, I know that I don’t do half the things I used to do
But why do I feel like I’m better than you
I think I forgot one of the kernels I got from my mother
“No sin is ever greater than another”
See God I’m trying to be just like you, trying to rid my life from sin
But as soon as I lose one, the sin of judgment comes back in
If I’ve surrendered my own purpose for His sight
Why can’t all my friends and family just get right
Why they keep asking me to go to the club
Why men keep prompting me to share my love
Can’t they tell that I’ve changed my focus
And it wasn’t the result of just a rare hocus pocus
They look at me and they see the same Tam
Why is it so hard for them to understand
Why do I have to apologize for wanting change
It’s not that I look at them as if they should be ashamed
Jesus please take me off my high horse before it’s too late
I don’t want to be the belt that non-believers have to take
If I’ve pushed someone away from You Lord I ask for forgiveness
I must’ve had my own agenda – it was definitely senseless
Sometimes we get so far in our faith that the ex-files leave our memory
I forgot that all that sin you’re wrapped up in was once a part of me
Lord, I ask for a sense of humility, and a non-judging spirit
If there’s such a thing as a hypocritical Christian, please let me not be it
‘Cause unlike those convicting fingers I point at you and you
They are not as clean as I think – even when I’m covered in perfume
Lord let them see me as the re-formed cheater, liar, back-bitter and snake
Let it push them to a Godly desire, the motive for each breath I take
Who’s so self-righteous to think I’m brighter than the sun
Have I come that far in the faith walk with Christ
That I feel like I no longer need His light
Yea, I know that I don’t do half the things I used to do
But why do I feel like I’m better than you
I think I forgot one of the kernels I got from my mother
“No sin is ever greater than another”
See God I’m trying to be just like you, trying to rid my life from sin
But as soon as I lose one, the sin of judgment comes back in
If I’ve surrendered my own purpose for His sight
Why can’t all my friends and family just get right
Why they keep asking me to go to the club
Why men keep prompting me to share my love
Can’t they tell that I’ve changed my focus
And it wasn’t the result of just a rare hocus pocus
They look at me and they see the same Tam
Why is it so hard for them to understand
Why do I have to apologize for wanting change
It’s not that I look at them as if they should be ashamed
Jesus please take me off my high horse before it’s too late
I don’t want to be the belt that non-believers have to take
If I’ve pushed someone away from You Lord I ask for forgiveness
I must’ve had my own agenda – it was definitely senseless
Sometimes we get so far in our faith that the ex-files leave our memory
I forgot that all that sin you’re wrapped up in was once a part of me
Lord, I ask for a sense of humility, and a non-judging spirit
If there’s such a thing as a hypocritical Christian, please let me not be it
‘Cause unlike those convicting fingers I point at you and you
They are not as clean as I think – even when I’m covered in perfume
Lord let them see me as the re-formed cheater, liar, back-bitter and snake
Let it push them to a Godly desire, the motive for each breath I take
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Flip Of The Coin
As I have accepted the mission God’s spoken on my life
I’d like to take a minute to discuss why others think twice
It would be ignorant to think that building faith is so easy
It took me 23 years and I still need Him to cleanse me
It comes down to this, a flip of a coin
50% chance you’ll go your way and 50% chance you’ll join
The loving body of Christ, He gave us free will
No one’s gonna walk for you and that’s real
There’s at least one barrier holding you back
From giving your life to Him – refusing Satan’s attack
It’s up to you to make the final decision
Either accept or reject that He has since risen
Doubt is usually the stem of all this confusion
Just one of the most powerful weapons Satan is using
If he can get you to question God’s presence
He also succeeds in keeping you out of heaven
We foolishly rely on the limitations of our own selfish reasoning
How can I give my life to an unseen being
Let me give you a few words to keep in the midst
I’ll say my piece and you’ll get the jist
I believe that if you don’t fear God, you won’t crave Him or relinquish control
You’ll continue to live life the same and your spirituality will be at the bottom of the totem pole
But if you can agree that life is a flip of a coin – then do the math
What’s the probability that you’ll survive His wrath?
I’d like to take a minute to discuss why others think twice
It would be ignorant to think that building faith is so easy
It took me 23 years and I still need Him to cleanse me
It comes down to this, a flip of a coin
50% chance you’ll go your way and 50% chance you’ll join
The loving body of Christ, He gave us free will
No one’s gonna walk for you and that’s real
There’s at least one barrier holding you back
From giving your life to Him – refusing Satan’s attack
It’s up to you to make the final decision
Either accept or reject that He has since risen
Doubt is usually the stem of all this confusion
Just one of the most powerful weapons Satan is using
If he can get you to question God’s presence
He also succeeds in keeping you out of heaven
We foolishly rely on the limitations of our own selfish reasoning
How can I give my life to an unseen being
Let me give you a few words to keep in the midst
I’ll say my piece and you’ll get the jist
I believe that if you don’t fear God, you won’t crave Him or relinquish control
You’ll continue to live life the same and your spirituality will be at the bottom of the totem pole
But if you can agree that life is a flip of a coin – then do the math
What’s the probability that you’ll survive His wrath?
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Consistency
If there's one thing I wish I could change
Please bear with me, this could sound strange
It'd be the gift of consistency in every aspect
Home, work, church and even in the Jets
The problem is the chamellion in me
Adapting to my surroundings, not forgery
I call it testing the waters, feeling my way
Stepping outside my comfort zone which is so cliche
*REMIX*
I Corinthians 9:19-23 NIV
19Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
No need to continue the poem because He has shown me the reason for my inconsistency.
Sent from Tamz T-Mobile Sidekick®
Please bear with me, this could sound strange
It'd be the gift of consistency in every aspect
Home, work, church and even in the Jets
The problem is the chamellion in me
Adapting to my surroundings, not forgery
I call it testing the waters, feeling my way
Stepping outside my comfort zone which is so cliche
*REMIX*
I Corinthians 9:19-23 NIV
19Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
No need to continue the poem because He has shown me the reason for my inconsistency.
Sent from Tamz T-Mobile Sidekick®
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